Friday, November 18, 2016

Athena: Reading

Dear Augustine,

I forgot a day, and then last night I was too tired, and I am tonight as well...but I don't want to be behind three posts. I've loved reading your poetic and beautiful recent posts, and I wish I had the energy to respond in kind. Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow.

I'm excited about reading. In some ways it's the only thing keeping me sane right now (and good friends). I'm trying to line up some book for next year...and sort of for the next four. Because I think I'm going to need that. Here's what I've got in mind:

1) I need some Rabbi AJ Heschel. I think I'm going to start with him in January, not only because his theology is incredible, but also because he's a man who lived through the Civil Rights movement and marched with Martin Luther King Jr. He escaped the Nazis--but many of his family members did not. And because in contrast to much Christian theology, Jewish theology has always felt more...practical and earthy. There's a bigger focus on rebuilding what's here as opposed to escaping it or just sucking it up and saying, "Well, there's heaven someday," or "God has a bigger plan." I think I need that right now.

Rabbi Heschel [second from the right] with MLK Jr.
Image courtesy of Wikipedia

2) I'm probably going to read Night of the Confessor by Tomas Halik again, as well as his other book Patience with God. Again, somebody who lived through some great terrors of the world and society. Maybe I should add Solzhenitsyn to my list too.

3) The Harvard Classics...which I'm going to start next year at a rate of a book/month. At that rate, I'll finish in about four years. Yup, that's intentional; I figure it's as good a time as any to finally begin this, and it will be an encouraging way to mark time. I'll have to read 3 extra books on top of 1/month to finish all the volumes and the lecture volume, but it'll be worth it. It would be a shame to have such a great collection and neglect to read it. I should look into seeing if there's some sort of companion class out there for the volumes. Or maybe I should make it a goal to create one.

I'm trying to figure out ways to be slower. To process more. To figure out how to apply and engage with my reading so that it sinks in on a deeper and more lasting level. I've been writing mini-reviews for all the books I've read this year, and that's helped. I want to press myself to do that more, to take time for reflection, something that is really difficult for me sometimes. To force myself to not just be a "consumer" but an "engager" (there's probably a better word for it. I read an article once about being a "prosumer" = producer/consumer, but that's got too many businessified connotations now about branding, apparently.)

I think these authors and books will help me to slow my internal life, which is always whirring away. It will help me reflect more, and hopefully that will translate into acting and speaking wisely. I hope. As shitty as this year has been, I still don't want 2017 to come. I'm not hopeful, despite these plans. But time is going to move forward whether I want it to or not*, and I have to face that inevitability.

+Athena

*Maybe the Aztecs got things wrong because of leap years and perhaps the world is going to end in 2016 instead of 2012 and I won't have to face it. But I suppose I don't really entirely want to wish for the world's end either. (Maybe a little bit.)

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