Dear Augustine,
Oh, for me it's most certainly been the several years of silence. Not just on this blog, but everywhere. I have not been writing. I have not been reflecting in a sustained and meaningful way--though I have sometimes yearned to do so--I have been. Close to drowning. Treading water in an ocean where wave after wave keeps hitting me and all I can do is think about how to survive the next one. I do and then I know another wave will be coming soon. It has been a month since I resigned and I still have not really and intentionally made the space that I've needed to, in any sustained way, to breathe.
That will need to be my goal for this upcoming Thursday, I think. Now that I have finally gotten to a better place with school work. Or at least am in the lull between finishing everything I was behind on and needing to aim towards the bigger projects that will be coming at the end of the term.
Yes to being on the same team. Yes to feeling that same pain alongside you and with you, because some days it is such an utter ache. My former boss responded to an email I had written, the evening after I spoke to you, and said something like, "We didn't take a chance on you. We recognized that you belonged. You still do, even if you're not here," and I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I have read and re-read those words at least a dozen times in the past three days.
Yes to needing an organizing mythology (and Joseph Campbell has been on my list forever and ever and I need to actually read the book I own of his. I can't remember if it's Hero of a Thousand Faces or another text of his, though.
[Picking this back up a week later]
Yes to all of it. We just spoke on the phone about the dream of "educational consultants", but I thought I'd capture some things here too. Yes, yes, yes, to that. Though I don't want to own my own company ;). But I just like the idea of working with students one-on-one and helping guide students so that they can be the best possible versions of themselves.
What would it look like to build something like that in an equitable and accessible way--so that students of all backgrounds could benefit from it? Would would it take to make that a reality?
I'm so grateful that you are with me on this journey,
+Athena
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